its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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