i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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