But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
