so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
