is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
