dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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