I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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