he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
