I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
