How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
