How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
