someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
