She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
