I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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