I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
