I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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