will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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