Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
