Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just want to make out with him forever
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
