VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
