Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Welp...herpes.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you traded sex for a burrito?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
