I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
