dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
