Already got asked if we're dating
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
