try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my shit smells like andre
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
