just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
