Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
