erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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