Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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