my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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