she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
