we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
