Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
