well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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