Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
