Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
