grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
