He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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