My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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