Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
