Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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