We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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