you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
