hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
