Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
