Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
40s are totally the cure
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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