i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Drake has all the answers
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
