Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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