so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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