Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
