so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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