I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
