so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
