my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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