I'm so fucking centered right now
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
