his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
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