Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize